Melvin Adekanye is the founder of JamSocial, which helps introverts connect at events with icebreakers that make networking feel like a fun game. This conversation is about something many of us experience but rarely discuss—feeling disconnected, even when we’re surrounded by people.
Melvin works at the intersection of technology, psychology, and events, helping people, especially introverts, feel more at ease starting real conversations. We discuss networking, loneliness, the role of technology, and why sometimes a small nudge is all it takes to help people connect.
Melvin on LinkedIn. Check out Jam Social
The interview is below, followed by a transcript, lightly edited for clarity.
Yohay Elam (01:36)
Thank you for watching or listening. Welcome to another episode of the Reach Out series, where we explore the intersection of human connection, technology, and mental well-being. I’m Yohay Elam, founder of TouchBase, an app that tackles loneliness by helping foster meaningful connections.
And today I have here Melvin Adekanye, founder of Jamsocial, helping introverts actually connect at events with icebreakers that make networking feel like playing a fun game. Thanks for coming, Melvin.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (02:11)
Thanks for having me.
Yohay Elam (02:14)
So, Melvin, you work at the intersection of events, psychology, and technology, helping people who don’t naturally thrive at networking events actually connect. I often have that trouble. Before we get into JamSocial, I’d like to start a bit with you. Where did you grow up, and what kind of social environment shaped you early on? ⁓
Melvin (From JamSocial) (02:39)
Once again, thanks for having me. It’s so interesting because now I live in Canada, and I originally grew up in Nigeria. Nigeria is a very ⁓ social atmosphere where you can be walking on the street, and somebody can start a conversation with you. But moving to Canada, you start to realize that things are a bit different. It takes a bit more effort to connect with people. And that really starts to show at events. But from my background, coming from a country where
people are very social, very free-flowing. Moving to Canada, where people are a bit more reserved relative to what it was like in Nigeria.
It didn’t help that I also have a computer science background, and if you know anything about computer science, you’re basically indoors in the basement coding all the time, and connecting with people becomes a little bit more difficult. So I really had to make an emphasis to reach out and connect with people outside of my social circle.
Yohay Elam (03:41)
So do you feel that working in IT and in front of a computer made you more of an introvert? Do you personally identify as an introvert? Or when did you realize that these kinds of networking events don’t work the same way for everyone?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (04:04)
It wasn’t until I got into university, actually, because when you get into university, you’re in a way kind of forced to connect with everybody, right? So I was in a setting where we would occasionally have these social networking events, and I started realizing, like, wow, some people have a way harder time trying to strike up a conversation without seeming awkward, right? And that’s when I knew, okay, this is interesting. I wouldn’t identify myself completely as an introvert.
I can be extroverted when I need to be, but I’m also totally fine just being alone at home, doing my own thing, right? So I have to force myself in order to be more extroverted. And I feel like being in the IT space definitely enables that. And I feel like because it enables that, I have to go the extra mile to make connections, to step out of that comfort zone, right?
Yohay Elam (05:00)
So it takes more effort than usual. So you had this personal friction, you said at university, and then you took a step forward. Let’s talk a bit about Jamstotial. How did it come into existence? What was the first problem you were trying to solve?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (05:26)
It’s good that this comes up. know that you are also in Europe. And I also had a chance to do a study abroad program in Europe. And while I was in Europe, specifically the Netherlands, I found it almost impossible to talk to anybody. Not just because there was a language barrier. Mean, most people speak English. But it was also kind of difficult to find third spaces where you can actually go socialize and talk to people. And while I was there, I realized this is so hard.
There were more opportunities to meet other people my age. And it so happened that I was randomly strolling the streets, and I came across this sign, and this sign said something like, ” Meet five other people for coffee. It’s something like that. And I remember seeing that sign, and I was like, ” What the heck? I wish I had seen this when I first came because I would have loved to try it out. But at this time, this was like my final week, and I was moving back to Canada. So I came back to Canada, and I was like, I wonder…
if other people here feel the same way. I wonder if there are people here who want to connect with people but are having a hard time finding those opportunities in third spaces, too. So it was like, you know what, let me host an event so I can see if people would come out and meet new people. So I hosted this event, and to my surprise, there were like,
there were like 70 plus people who turned up and the whole idea behind the event was to meet new people. And when they came out to the event to connect, I started noticing that there were some people in the room who were basically on their phone, of, you know, people being awkward, they’re being a little bit shy. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, what the heck? The whole idea behind this event is to meet new people. But despite being here, they’re having a hard time meeting and talking to people.
And I was like, well, let’s come up with something to solve this problem. And that’s when I brought my IT background and coded up a quick game to help people connect. And that quick game has become Jam Bingo, a way people can strike up conversations. But that was really the start of it. It was like I was hosting my own thin,g and then people were not connecting. And I was like, there has to be a better way for people to break the ice. So I ended up making my own solution for my events. And that’s really how it started.
Yohay Elam (07:46)
I hear you, that resonates with my background. thought, it should be something to help people connect, in my case, with people they already know in your case, with people at networking events. Yeah, that was, I guess that was the moment when you saw people make the effort to show up to your event, but.
They were on their phones. That was the moment you thought I should do something about it, I guess. When I assume you were working on it on your own. Mean, the idea came to you, but when you first described this idea to others, how did people react? What convinced you that it wasn’t just a personal issue, but more of ba roader one?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (08:17)
said.
Interesting. When I first described the issue, I felt like the first time I ever really described the issue was at this event. How do you help people connect? And because I was fortunate enough to have the prototype ready to go and people got to try it out, I think I really got to see people’s genuine feedback because people would play the game. They would be like, wow, this is the most amount of people I’ve talked to at an event, or they would say things like, this
the most fun event I’ve been to. And in my mind, I was like, okay, that’s interesting. But then I would go to other events that didn’t have the game and I would try to network so I would try to make connections so people would, you know, get to know more about what we’re doing. And when I would talk to people, they would say, ” Hey, I would love to use something like that because it’s so challenging to talk to people you don’t know, right? So I think for me, that was the moment where I knew, okay, people are reacting to this in a way.
where they’re like, I identify with the problem of how do you talk to people you don’t know? And I would really appreciate a solution that would help me initiate that conversation or start a new one, make a new connection with someone at an event. And that’s when I knew, okay, this is something that people resonate with, and this is something to explore a little bit more.
So the whole idea behind Jam Bingo is, like, how do you get people who are physically in the room to talk to each other? Because most of the time it feels like there’s a wall. The game’s premise is that it gives you conversation prompts or challenges that force you to talk to someone new. So the way it works is people come out to the event, they’re having a good time, and then the host announces that we’re gonna play a game. So then everybody scans the code to play and then they get a unique conversation.
It could be find somebody wearing the same shirt color as you. Or could be ask someone what success means to you. And the prompts are things the organizer actually gets to use, so they can add their own questions to the game. So now it gets people to go up to someone else and say, “Hey, the app is telling me to ask you what success means to you.” Would you mind telling me what success means to you? And then it would, in a way, force that connection to happen that otherwise would not. And then they would
connect with that person to unlock the next prompt, and the whole idea is for you to keep unlocking the next prompt until you complete all your prompt,s and by then you’re the winner but the real win is being able to talk to people and being able to connect with new people that you otherwise would not have been able to.
Yohay Elam (11:19)
amazing. People come to others, saying, ” Well, the app told me to ask you that. mean, sort of leaning on an external force. But from there on, the connection takes the life of its own, I guess.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (11:34)
Exactly. You’re 100 % right, like it gives people that initial excuse to connect. And once they connect, magic happens from there, right? Once people start talking, they start talking.
Yohay Elam (11:45)
Yeah. Well, you’ve been to quite a few networking events. And what patterns do you see repeating there over and over? I think you described a bit of people on their phones. But what else? Is there anything else that you see there?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (12:00)
mean, the thing that strikes me the most, but at the same time, I think it’s human nature, is that people tend to hang around people they already know, which is kind of ironic, because you go to a networking event to meet new people, but most of the time, as most people probably see, when they go to an event, they tend to just stand in circles of people they already know. They kind of have the same conversations. And the people who I see make the most of networking events are the ones who are super extroverted, the ones who can literally go up
to any group, go up to any individual, and you know, they break the ice naturally because they’re just, they have more repetition, they have more practice.
But the most common thing I usually see is actually the people who are introverted, the ones who stand on the edges, who are kind of looking at their phone or sipping a drink, or the ones who are just standing in a circle so they feel like they’re part of the conversation, although they may not really be networking, but they just want to be a part of the circle without really conversing. So that’s what I see the most and it’s quite sad because networking events are a great opportunity for
people to advance their career, to advance their business, and one connection could literally be the difference between making the next big step in your career or making the next big step in your business, but the fear of, like, what do I say, or would I be rejected, stops people from doing that.
Yohay Elam (13:29)
What I’ve been told in many cases is just walk up to somebody and talk. it’s easy in theory, but not always in practice. So why is it unrealistic for so many people? Is it because they’re shy or afraid of rejection or maybe something else that you’ve noticed?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (13:49)
think it’s a little bit of shyness, but I also think we need more
The more practice we have, the more comfortable we feel. ⁓ Actually, I have quite a funny story actually. I went to, like, it was like a big networking event, and I did what you said, which was to go up to somebody, introduce yourself, but I did it in kind of a fun, challenging way. I basically walked around the event, introduced myself, and said, “Hi, my name is Bill Gates.” But it was like an icebreaker because I would say, hi, my name is Bill Gates, and they would be like,
” This person’s then they would hear Bill Gates, and they’re like wait a minute, this guy’s not Bill Gates. It would ease the tension because they’re like, ” My name is and then they would say a famous person, but then we would eventually connect, right? Still, I did that had to do that like six or seven times before I eventually met one of my really good friends now he actually laughed about it. Years later, we stayed connected because of that initial connection, so I think.
I think having that repetition to introduce yourself, but not being afraid of, like, will people accept or reject me for just saying, hey, hi, my name is Melvin, can we get introduced? I think repetition really helps build that confidence.
Yohay Elam (15:09)
Is one piece of good advice? And is there any other good advice or things to avoid, conversation starters or moves that you’ve seen that absolutely fail?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (15:24)
Yeah, mean, moves that absolutely fail. I think not really being yourself. Think about people: sometimes when they go to networking events, they’re in a state like, “How do I get accepted?”
But when you’re in that state of how do I be accepted, you portray yourself in a way that is actually showing who you think they want you to be rather than who you actually are. And I think that’s the first step is like when you show up to an event, I think it’s really good to show up in a way where it’s like, hey, this is who I am. And I’m looking to connect with people who also identify with.
values that I have, the work that I’m trying to do. I think when we show up authentically, it’s easier to connect with people than when we show up as someone we think other people want us to be. Then we start to run the risk of, like, you know, faking it and not really making those real connections. The other thing too, think common mistakes is like, just practical. It’s like, you know, dress in a way that makes you stand out, dress how you
Dressed to make a good first impression, but also dressed in a way that makes you identifiable. So people can look and say, ” Hey, who’s that person? I’d love to go talk to them. That’s something that actually someone I know from the States, whose name is Megan. She writes about in her blog, it’s like, how do you dress so you can stand out and be unique? ⁓
Yohay Elam (16:54)
Makes sense, yeah, but I guess the same advice that you mentioned earlier applies, where you should dress to stand out, but something you feel comfortable with is you. And I like the idea of ⁓ don’t fake somebody who you aren’t, because what’s the point?
Okay, let’s move on to technology. When technology enters social situations, people often worry about it, and that it could make things artificial. How do you see it?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (17:39)
Yeah, mean, technology is definitely a huge part of our business because we literally use people’s phones, the very thing that is used to isolate people. And we use that in a way that helps them make in-person connections. And originally, when we first started out, we encountered a bit of a friction point because people were always like, well, this is a no-technology type of event. We want people to be able to just talk to each other. And that was the initial friction point.
But then we realized, okay, maybe that’s not really our market. Our market is actually the place where people are okay with using tech.
But they also want tech to be a tool for connection rather than for isolation. And I think as we continue to develop in the future, if we can start thinking about technology in a way that allows people to connect rather than enabling isolation, I think that’s going to be tremendously huge. And I know even with touch base, that’s exactly what you’re doing is how do you get people to connect? ⁓
and think, hey, I haven’t reached out to this person. I should probably go check in on them. Like, it’s a way that enables me. I’m looking at my phone when I see a notification. And it’s like, hey, remember the connection with. Now, that’s how you use technology in a way that helps people connect
as opposed to ways, I mean, you’re more familiar with social media. Social media is very good at isolating people and making comparisons. That’s not really how people connect. People connect when they actually get to talk, and how to use technology to help people talk in a meaningful way.
it helps people actually connect at events it helps them it gives them the excuse to connect with somebody new as opposed to sticking with people they already know I think that’s one thing that we do really well and the other thing that we do really well I mean technology also enables other things it also enables the event organizer to see analytics of like how do people actually connect how was my events how did my
⁓ impact the people who attended. So being able to see how many connections everyone walks away with, and what type of conversations people have. Think technology allows us to show that data, but also, you know, it helps people actually make that first step of like, ” Hi, my name is Melvin, the app is asking me to ask you what your favorite ice cream flavor is. Okay we talked about ice cream flavor now tell me a little bit more about who you are.
gives that initial step in the right direction.
Yohay Elam (20:25)
Yeah, it’s amazing, and yeah, I use technology for that, the most important thing to make it easier to take the first step, and as you said, also for organizers to get some kind of feedback on how things are working.
And one of the things that your app helps with in networking events is related to, of course, connection, but also loneliness and modern lives with our phones. So ⁓ yeah, there are many cases when people feel lonely, even when surrounded by others.
Why does it happen that people feel alone when surrounded by others?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (21:06)
It’s an interesting phenomenon because it’s quite ironic that you can be in a place full of people, yet still feel alone. And I think part of the reason why people feel alone, even though they’re surrounded by people, even though they may be talking about people, is because they don’t actually feel seen, they don’t feel understood, they don’t feel like other people around them actually know who they are.
I think this happens for a lot of reasons when we pretend to be somebody we’re not or when we pretend to be someone who we want others to see us as, rather than who we actually are. So I think that adds to it. But also, I think a lot of it has to do with actually showing up in a way that people get to know who we really are. I think that goes a long way in…
helping us feel less lonely. But as a society, we think we have a lot of technology that aids people to be on their own, to be alone, to feel like they don’t need anyone else. And I very much see that as a huge contributor to why people feel lonely, even though they’re surrounded or have a lot of followers or people like their post. But people don’t really get to know who they are. I think people who…
When people get to know who we are, we feel seen, understood, heard, and not alone.
Yohay Elam (22:32)
feel exposed, we feel more connected. I feel that social media, with the culture of Instagram, of showing off, or LinkedIn posting, or whatever, ⁓ that’s been around for a few years. I feel there’s a new phenomenon of
with all these amazing AI tools which I try to work, explore every day, but I think in some ways creating a bit of a culture of do it yourself, which I’m not against do it yourself, having skills is good, but if you can ask the AI tool for help with coding or help with connection or anything life related.
You perhaps think you don’t need real three-dimensional humans. What do you think?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (23:26)
And that’s the sad part, isn’t it? It’s kind of like an irony of…
The more independent we get, the lonelier we feel. And I think it’s super interesting because even though I went to Europe and I had an opportunity to see what a different life was like, I’ve also been to different parts of the world that maybe we would consider third world. But going to countries where I got to see people who had to walk for an hour just to get clean drinking water, you start to realize that there are different levels of what it means to
to advance or to be, there are different levels to life. I think that when we go to countries where they’re more dependent on each other, you don’t necessarily see the same kind of loneliness we see in countries that are far more developed because they actually rely on each other. They heavily rely on community, knowing each other, and talking, and that helps. But it’s kind of ironic because the more developed we get, the less reliant we are on other people and the more comfortable we
feel staying in our own bubble with the people who think like us, with the people who like us, with the people we like. And the more we stay in that, the less we actually connect with other people
the more we feel distant and I think AI is an interesting phenomenon because I mean, why would I go talk to my friend and tell them how my day was when I could basically rant to ChatGPT on text and I could say, this person did this thing and ChatGPT would say, ⁓ you’re totally correct. You should totally feel this way. And ChatGPT is gonna agree with whatever I say. Why would I go talk to someone else who would challenge my thoughts? So it’s interesting, but I’m curious.
Do you think? I feel like ⁓ with what you’ve seen, how would you see people interacting with AI, and how does that lead to loneliness?
Yohay Elam (25:24)
Yeah, mean,
In my circles, I don’t have people having an AI companion. At least, they are not admitting it. But I’ve heard about the phenomenon. think again, if technology can help you.
prepare for real-life interactions, and you only spend a limited time using the AI companion. Maybe it’s helpful, but eventually, I think you have to put yourself out there like the people who come to your networking events. The big step came from them to show up. And then you just take them the extra mile to ignite that initial connection at the event, but it’s still three-dimensional people.
So yeah, like with everything, there is time to be used and time not to be used. So it’s easy to get into the rabbit hole of using only AI or spending all your time on social media.
I personally think that even small human connections like meeting, saying hello, and having a small chat with the person at the cashier at the grocery store or the bakery, that small connection can be more enriching, more
giving a sense of community, more than just ⁓ talking with the machine. don’t know. How was your experience? What do you think?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (26:58)
And I think that definitely goes back to the whole, when you get to know people and when people get to know you, you feel more connected. And you’re definitely right. Like initiating those, in a way, it’s like small talk, but it’s a way to, hey, like I would like to get to know this person a little bit more than just someone who scans my groceries as they’re putting them in the bag. I think that helps us feel more connected.
We start to relate to people when we realize this person is actually a lot like us, or that they also have this challenge. And that’s something that I really struggle with, especially when I first started out networking. Like you said, technology has its pros and cons. Initially, when I first started networking, before I actually went to real-life events, I would do a lot of online things. I would do a lot of LinkedIn. And I would go on LinkedIn and press Connect with everyone I saw.
It
became really hard to really get to know the people because the conversation was limited to just words on the screen. But when I started attending events, I would use both. would use, hey, LinkedIn. I would be like, hey, I see you going to this event. I just wanted to say hi. Looking forward to connecting in person. And it became like an additive, like a way to.
⁓ a way to connect, pre-connect before we actually connect, because when we got in person, it was like, by the way, we connected on LinkedIn. And that was my icebreaker, was like, hey, we already talked on LinkedIn, love to connect in person. And I think that goes back to getting to know people, using every little opportunity, and, like you mentioned, Touchpoint 2, to get to know them a little more.
Yohay Elam (28:43)
That’s a great tip. Check out who’s going to the event. If that person is relevant, reconnect with them on LinkedIn, then that’s the icebreaker. Amazing tip. So we began touching a bit more networking, the world of work, LinkedIn. You’ve also seen JamSocial being used within organizations. What changes when colleagues connect beyond their immediate teams?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (29:12)
so glad he brought this up because that is something that surprised me the most. Initially, when we first started, it was how do we connect people at networking events who don’t know each other. But we started to see a lot of companies that were using Jam Bingo, and it was quite surprising because these are people who literally spend every day together in the same space.
And it was interesting because it turns out that when people work in different teams, they actually don’t get to connect with people in other departments. So people in the marketing team probably don’t really talk to people in the IT. They probably say, hi, hello in the elevators, but they don’t actually get to relate.
But actually, what we started seeing is that people started, people at these companies would use JamBingo as a way to actually get those departments, different departments to connect because they started to realize, hey, actually maybe it is good for Jim and IT to also talk with Melissa Marketing because it gives them a different perspective.
on how different pieces of the company function together and allows them to know, if I know IT is doing this, it also allows me to do my role in marketing a little bit better because now I have someone I can touch, I can touch base with, which is how companies work. Companies aren’t just individuals. Companies are groups of individuals who work together. And there’s no better way to work together than to actually get to know each other and also get to, ⁓
relate to the company’s mission and values. So it was an interesting twist because, honestly, I didn’t really see it coming that companies would also use Jam Bingo, but actually, they do because it provides value in the sense of getting departments to connect together.
Yohay Elam (31:01)
sense. I worked as a product manager. had to ⁓ diffuse rivalries, well, rivalries, different interests between, let’s say, the user experience team and marketing. They pulled in different directions
Melvin (From JamSocial) (31:16)
I definitely would not doubt that it has an impact on company performance because, at the end of the day, people are the ones who drive the company. And the more connected they are, the more they can accomplish. So I think it definitely has an impact. But in terms of raw numbers, I would definitely have to look into that.
Yohay Elam (31:36)
Yeah, I also will dig into studies about it. Yeah, I think these kind of relationships at work, some of them become deep friendships because you a lot of time together and maybe you have a lot in common with that person, but some are a bit more, it’s called now, friendships. mean, sort of very small points of touch.
But there is also a value to that.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (32:02)
It’s a very interesting dynamic in friendships. I think friendships are a little different because they’re built on how well you connect with people. For me, I like to think of friends as people who, this was something someone said to me, and I think it made a huge impact, but friends are people who you see yourself in, who you see a little bit or maybe a lot of yourself in them. And I think when you start asking someone, like, “Why are we friends?” They start to actually describe
a lot of qualities they have that they see in you, which is quite an interesting phenomenon, right? So think friendships and work relationships are a bit different. I think what we focus on primarily is how we get that work relationship beyond just fake pleasantries, but how we get people to know a little bit more about each other? Perhaps they can take the next step into becoming friends, but we take it to the step where people have the excuse to learn more about
each other, rather than it feeling a little bit like…
like forced or maybe feeling a little bit fake, but it’s genuine. It’s like, hey, go find someone in the marketing department and ask them what was the most challenging part of this quarter. And it gives them an opportunity. Hey, I get to learn more about Melissa in the marketing department. And that helps me understand their role. And if I take an interest in Melissa, it could be like, hey, Melissa also is interested in pets. Maybe I also have a pet. Maybe we can connect on a friendship level in that way. But the primary thing is, how do we connect?
people to learn more about each other in terms of work, and then they could take a step further if they’d like.
Yohay Elam (33:43)
sense. Yeah, I sometimes lose patience when people talk about the weather. It seems like unnecessary small talk. And I find that sometimes if I tell something half-personal about myself, you mentioned a pet, I have a huge hobby, running. So I tell them about my weekend run and how I struggled or whatever.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (33:51)
You
Yohay Elam (34:08)
It already sort of is, that’s already a connection. mean, even if that person doesn’t run, there’s something to relate to which is not, I mean, super superficial. So I find that, would you do something like that at a networking event? ⁓
to tell someone about something that’s half-personal, or is there any other advice? I mean, is the networking event apart from using your app ⁓ to find those icebreakers?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (34:45)
100 %, and you know what, I even take it a step further. think saying things are half personal makes you feel more human compared to people who you know who pretend or You know because you can relate more with a person but I also like asking questions about people and I find that works really well because People really like to talk about themselves and if you can ask them questions, I get them to talk about themselves then There’s it’s it makes it easier for you to connect with that person
So
Actually, that would be another tip: ask people questions, but I wouldn’t ask questions like “Hey, do you have a pet?” or “How many?” How do you feel about the neighborhood you live in like I wouldn’t ask questions like that I would ask questions more like hey, what is something? Maybe I know they’ve been working in this industry for like 10 plus years, I can say hey, based on what you know now. What is something you wish you had known when you first started your career? And it gives them an opportunity. It’s like, I mean who else is
asking them a question like that. But now it gives them the opportunity to think, ⁓
Actually, yeah, what is something I wish I knew when I first started? And it gets, and it makes you learn a bit more about them because, you know, they open up a bit more. They’re not just like, the weather is good today, but they’re actually telling you something from their personal experience. And I find that really works really well in breaking the ice. I mean, there lots of questions like these. So the more people use it, I think the better, the more, the easier it is for people to connect, but maybe don’t use it too much.
Because then every single time I’ll have to be thinking about ⁓ what I wish I first known.
Yohay Elam (36:28)
Yeah, maybe have a list of questions which are sort of in the middle between not too superficial but not too intimidating or too personal, I guess. I like to ask lots of questions, and I sometimes catch myself stopping myself late. I think I’m interrogating that person. ⁓
Melvin (From JamSocial) (36:56)
Hahaha
Yohay Elam (36:59)
So, for me, when somebody asks me questions back, say, “OK, OK”-there’s a bit of mutuality here. So I’m probably not interrogating too much,
I mean, when I go to events, and they feel I’m struggling to find conversations or I can get out with a headache or I don’t know, mean, or.
I don’t ignite. I get stuck. ⁓ For me, it’s a failure unless I find, I mean, if I have one interesting conversation, then I say, OK, that’s good enough. It was worth going to that event. That’s my way of redefining successful networking events.
People who, I mean, I think some introverts would go to a few of these events, struggle to find conversations, and then stop going to these events because they feel all of them are a failure. Is there a way to redefine it for introverts that would make them feel, I mean, okay, this is progress? It wasn’t a waste of time. I did something positive today for myself.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (38:14)
I see what you mean. think success really is different for everybody because everyone’s on a different journey, at their own level of introversion. I’ve been on my journey of doing Jam Social. I hosted two events that I remember the most because those two events had two people who exemplify, like a true introvert, to an extreme degree. The first event was when this lady
was networking; they were playing the game. And this lady, she was like, she fell a little, it fell a little bit off. was like, are you okay? Like, are you doing okay? Because she was just like, like I thought she was in like a distress or something. So I went up to her, I said, hey, are you okay? And she’s like, yeah, I’m okay. This is the most I’ve ever talked to anybody. And I asked her, like, what she meant. And she’s like, well, actually, I don’t really leave the house that much. And I’m trying to
challenge myself to go to one of these every few months. And she’s like, and I was like, okay, and she’s like, yeah, like, I enjoy this one, it’s the game is helping. And if people are a little bit more open to talking. And, and that was success for her because she only goes to these ones, like once every few months. And this was like a huge step compared to where she was. Now take that for someone like me, maybe I go to events more frequently than she does. Success looks
a bit different for me because success isn’t necessarily just talking to one person but maybe success is actually hey can I book a meeting or we have an intro call so that way we can we can do business so I think success depends on where you’re initially starting from and I think you have to look at hey this is where I’m you have to first know where you currently are at and I set goals that are relative to where you’re starting from rather than
I don’t think there’s really a baseline of what success means for everybody, but I think for you as an individual, based on where you’re coming from, I think you can set progress bars.
Initially, we used AI to help come up with these conversation icebreakers because, when you open the app, it says to ask someone what success means to them and what they’re most proud of this year. So those were initially AI-generated. But what we started realizing is we started realizing that every event is different. And actually, some people at these events like using their own questions,
questions that relate to the event that they’re hosting. So maybe actually a question like what does success mean to you is a great question, for this specific event, they’re more interested in asking people, hey, what is the biggest challenge in your marketing department? We are looking for ways to integrate AI into use cases like that, but initially,it was a great way to get a general set of
questions that can break the ice. But as we got into it, we started realizing that perhaps we need something a bit more robust that tailors to people’s specific events.
Yohay Elam (41:33)
make sense, making things more personalized towards the humans that are actually there. Got it. OK. ⁓ After everything you’ve seen and built, what’s one belief about human connection that you now hold very strongly?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (41:57)
This is the kind of question I would use on a networking app. I mean, well, let me think about it, perhaps maybe. Yeah, I mean, with touch base, touch base is more focused on that individual connection of like, how do you get people to connect with their existing network? So I’m curious to hear what you think and maybe that could help jog some thoughts from me.
Yohay Elam (42:25)
Yeah, actuall,y I do have an answer to that question. I learned that we underestimate how much reaching out to us makes somebody feel good. I felt it personally before I began building the app. I felt sort of a positive rush when I reached out, when people reached out to me. And then when I began working on the app, I found out that there are many studies that demonstrate that we tend
to underestimate the positive impact reaching out has on the receiver. So that’s one ⁓ belief based in science about human connections that is now one of my guiding principles in my work at TouchBase.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (43:12)
That’s a great point.
And I think you’re right, even thinking of my personal life when people reach out of the blue, it kind of catches me by surprise. It’s like this person was thinking about me, and it does make me feel good. And I think there are parallels to jam, although we’re not necessarily reminding people to reach out, but I think we’re helping people overcome that fear of walking up to somebody new.
And I think something that I’ve learned from doing what I’ve done is that when you give people an opportunity to connect, the people who benefit most are the people who are searching for it the most. So the introverts in the room, the people.
Overlooked when you go to an event, you’re definitely not looking their direction, you’re looking for someone else. Those are the people who benefit most, and those are the people who, at the end of these events, are always like, this is one of the most fun networking events I’ve been at because people actually got to meet people rather than just looking at my phone or.
drinking a few drinks at this event. So that’s what I’ve learned: when you give people an excuse to connect, they will take it.
Yohay Elam (44:30)
That’s a great thing and very encouraging, I assume, for many introverts out there. There are many people who struggle at networking events. So that’s good news. Looking ahead, what excites you most about the future of ⁓ intentional connections?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (44:51)
What excites me most is technology.
It’s kind of ironic because I think as technology continues to advance, more people will seek in-person connections. And we’re starting to see it even now, I think, with the rise of AI-generated video, with the rise of AI bots. I think people want to know that when they’re talking to someone, they’re actually talking to a person, not just a bot. And I think people are intentionally going to start seeking out those in-person connections,
interactions. And that’s something that excites me most because we’re coming to a point where technology in and of itself is creating the opportunity for people to connect. Perhaps that wasn’t the initial focus, but it is a consequence of the online environment.
the sphere we’ve created, so I think people will seek out in-person interactions. And I think for us, as people who create technology to aid these in-person interactions, it puts us in an interesting position of how we can further use technology or how we can come up with different solutions to continue to help people in person to connect.
whether that is reminding them to touch base with someone else, helping them actually start a conversation, or helping them find events to go to. These industries are gonna start to see an uptick in people seeking them out because we’ve hit a point where, for me, I’m personally done with the whole online kind
world, and I want to be able to connect with people and actually know I’m talking to somebody real
Yohay Elam (46:43)
going to have to continue using online tools and technology. That’s modern life. It helps. Yeah, the best thing technology can do for connecting with other people is just be an extension of our real life, enabling us to meet new people, stay in touch, or find a place to have a drink.
real people. Okay. ⁓ We’re nearing the close. Is there anything else you’d like to add to our listener’s message? Take away anything and insights.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (47:29)
think we had a great conversation, and if there’s one thing I can leave with everyone, I think the best icebreaker is when you decide that you are going to be the person who goes and reaches out to someone who may be looking like they’re on their own.
I think that is the best icebreaker. ⁓ Maybe your event doesn’t necessarily have games or tools or things like Jam Bingo. Still, if you can be that person who says, I’m actually gonna take up the challenge to go introduce myself to someone who I see as I’m talking to someone else, I think that’s, we need more of those in the world because people who take that initiative are the people who become leaders and the people who set the pace of how networking events should be like. And if you’re the person who sticks to your friend group
You need to tell your friends we’re gonna go make new connections and not just stick together.
Yohay Elam (48:24)
In general, more people moving out of their comfort zone and giving other people a chance, maybe, themselves a chance to meet these other people.
Okay, Melvin, so thank you very much for sharing your insights today. I had a great time talking with you. It was a fun ping pong, and I certainly learned a lot. I’m sure our listeners and viewers did so as well. Where can people learn more about your work, your initiatives, connect with you, and meet you in person?
Melvin (From JamSocial) (48:58)
Well, it’s great. You can definitely learn more about what we’re doing on our website or on our social media. So our company name is Jamsocial. So it’s thejamsocial.com. We also have our social media. We’re active on almost all social platforms at Jamsocial. And if you want to meet me in person, perhaps you have to come to Canada. Let me know. And then we’ll set something up.
Yohay Elam (49:27)
cold place, but it can make warm connections there.
Okay. Thank you very much, Melvin. Really super enlightening and energizing conversation, I for everybody. Okay, thank you very much.
Melvin (From JamSocial) (49:31)
Thank you so much.
Thanks.
Yohay Elam (49:44)
So this has been another episode of the TouchBase Reach Out series. As always, I will encourage you to download TouchBase, send me feedback, and tell me how you’re using it. And follow TouchBase on all the social handles. And I hope to see you soon. Thank you and bye-bye.
I’m Yohay Elam of TouchBase, an app that helps connect with loved ones through reminders and conversation starters.
Download TouchBase